Sixteen

Well, today my "baby" turned 16. Kinda feels surreal because I remember bringing him home from the hospital and it just seems like yesterday. Could time really have flown by that quickly?! This year will bring lots of changes for him - high school, driving, dating... And I have a feeling it will bring lots of changes for me too! It's kind of strange having my youngest child so grown up.

I've been reflecting today on the past 16 years and wondering what the future will hold. It's been a GREAT 16 years. Connor has brought so much joy to our family! He's the one that EVERYONE loves (you all know what I mean!!). He makes us laugh all the time. You might not know it from looking at him, but this boy is hilarious! I remember times singing karaoke in the living room and watching Connor dance for us all.....boy fights that have us all in stitches.....sitting in sacrament meeting and watching Connor and Britt give each other a hug....having him walk into the room and just randomly breaking into song and dance....seeing how happy he is when Mallory comes home for a visit....It kind of makes me want to cry. I really love the boy a lot.

He has a lot to offer the world and it's exciting to see him growing into the great man I know he will be one day. He has spotless integrity, serves others quietly, loves his friends and family, is fiercely loyal, has a strong testimony, is quick to smile and long to judge, works hard and plays harder, HATES to be late, is quick to point out "Utah turns", doesn't mind hugs, has great homework memorizing tips (ask Britt!), really smart, the list could go on and on. Basically, he's all I would ever hope for him to be.

It's always scary bringing a baby into the world - the world can be a scary place sometimes. And you always hope that you can help guide them in the direction you think they should go. But once in a while you are blessed with a child that seems to already know that direction and works hard to stay on the path. I've been blessed with 4 of those children. Connor has been a breeze to raise - REALLY! Maybe because he's my last and maybe because I wasn't so stressed when he was little, but he has always been a dream.

And now that he is beginning this new phase of life, I can't wait to see the great things he will accomplish! I'm excited to watch more of the man develop - but also a bit sad too. Because I don't want him to grow up and move away from me. I want his calming influence and sense of humor and love around me all the time. Oh well - that's what we raise them to do. I know. But no one ever said it had to be easy!

So here's to the next year and all the exciting things it has to offer. On to greater adventures! I love you Connor!

Melancholy...

Ever have one of those days when you just feel sad for no particular reason? I sure hope so - hope I'm not the only one!! Today is definitely one of those days. I know it's wierd writing about this particular thing after a long 2 year hiatus from blogging, but maybe I just need to say it out loud and it will go away.....?

Right now, in this moment in time, I feel like I'm definitely in a rut, I guess you would call it. My kids are all growing up and moving on and today I'm really missing them for some reason. I'm feeling.......oh I don't know........un-needed maybe? Strange I know, because generally I feel like I live a very fulfilling life. I'm happy with my life, my family, pretty much everything. I wish I could explain it better. I am excited because I get to spend the next few days in Orem nursing my daughter Mallory back to health. She's getting her tonsils out (ouch!). But I'm already missing everyone at home - AND I HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT YET!!! Yeah I'm wierd I know.

I have things planned, and I keep very busy, but today something is missing. Wish I knew what it was....................

End of complaint. Thanks for listening.

Aaah! Now on with the Holidays!

Tonight my amazing daughters and I continued our long tradition of seeing "The Forgotten Carols". I just can't seem to quite get in the Christmas spirit until I link arms with the daughter sitting next to me and sing "We Can Be Together Forever Someday"! We went to Chili's for a delicious dinner, then to Cottonwood High for the program, then out for desert.

Probably the thing I love most about this tradition is the one on one time I get with two of the most special people in my life! We laugh hysterically, recall "old" times and reconnect in a very girly sort of way! We talk about boys (of course!), Edward and Jacob (of course!), our goals and aspirations, and the things we have accomplished (or not) in the past year since the last time we saw "Carols". I realize that life changes - a lot - children get married, get boyfriends, move on with life and such, but one thing doesn't change - that I love them more than I could possibly have imagined at any one point in my life since they entered it! They are what keep me going, keep me happy and keep me motivated to keep on keeping on.

My children are such amazing people, no thanks to me! The things they will, and have, accomplished so far in their short little lives, continue to astonish me. They are so much better at any age in their lives than I ever was in mine. They are all talented, smart, spiritual, loving, giving, compassionate people who make a difference in the world - at least my corner of it!

I am already looking foward to seeing "Carols" next year with them and looking back on the coming year. I hope I can say that I was more loving, compassionate, spiritual, smart and giving than I was this year. I want to be able to look back on 2010 with satisfaction and know that I did my best in everything I did. I hate to say, but I really can't say that for 2009. I can say I tried hard most of the time, but that just isn't good enough. Life is too short to take advantage of anything.

So thank you Michael McLean for a wonderful evening, filled with wonderful, beautiful, inspiring music and thoughts. Thank you for reminding me what really matters. And thank you for giving me another chance to remember the really important things.

Welcome Christmas!

Half Full

So, the other day I was having my favorite drink - MILK! - and I had a mini epiphany! I set the glass down and looked at it and thought, "Oh man, it's half empty already!" Then I thought, "Why would I think that? Why couldn't I have thought that it was half full!" So I started thinking about my life and the attitude I have on a day to day basis. I would like to think that I have a "half full" attitude more than a "half empty" one, but I have to admit that lately I think I've been having problems on that!

I know what a great life I have, and I'm certainly not discounting that. I think I just have to reevaluate things and start each day with a positive mindset. I noticed that the past few mornings I have woken up thinking, "Ugh. I have so much to do today!" What I think I need to do is wake up thinking, "I have this whole entire day to accomplish everything I want to!"

So, today I "get to"....... clean the bathroom, try and catch up on laundry, take the kids to swimming, soccer and voice, dejunk my kitchen drawers (don't you hate it when that 1 spatula keeps getting stuck so they won't close!), send out missionary emails, call around to try and find someone who can look at a tv that isn't working, reorganize that junk drawer that I can never find anything in, buy a new vacuum belt, vacuum (once I install the new belt!), decide what to fix for dinner, fix dinner.

That's about all I think I can tackle today, along with everything else that just seems to come up! But at least I have today and I do appreciate my life and I know that others have it much harder than I do. So in my gratitute journal today I am seriously going to think half full! I am grateful that I have a bathroom instead of some outhouse in the woods! And I am so glad that I can change clothes every day! I am happy that my kids have the opportunities they do to participate in sports and improve their talents! And I am supremely happy that I have carpet and vinyl instead of dirt on my floors!

So there is my current ranting! A friend of mine was saying the other day that people only seem to post happy things on their blogs. Now she can say that someone didn't! Although, I hope that those who read this will look at their lives as "half full". Because after typing all of this, I have realized that I really do have a "half full" life and that even those times that are hard I wouldn't trade because they make me appreciate the good times even more!

Blessings!

It seems at this time of year, I start thinking about the freedom I enjoy and all the blessings I have in my life. I know you are supposed to do that at Thanksgiving, but I do it in July too! I've been going over in my head the blessings I have and wondering how often I take them for granted. I know that I take my freedoms for granted. However much I appreciate the country I live in and the rights and privileges it affords me, I'm sure that I don't do all I can to take advantage of those rights. I certainly am grateful that I am able to worship how, who and where I want. Without this specific freedom, I wouldn't care about the other ones. So I want to say thank you to those that have gone before and those that will go ahead. The ones that make all the sacrifices so that I can live the way I want.

I heard the saying "Nothing is worth more than this day". I love that. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday or what you think will happen tomorrow. Today is the only day that you can truly do anything about. I hope that in the future I will make the most of my todays so that I won't regret my yesterdays and so that I will look forward to my tomorrows.

I decided that I wanted to start recording my daily blessings, because I find that they are different every day. So, with that in mind, here are just a few of the things that I am grateful for today......
* happiness
* cars that run (even though they don't have air conditioning!)
* clean socks
* sunshine
* cell phones
* laughter
* family
* friends
* milk (aaaaah!)
* good doctors
* DSL (finally!!)
* chick flicks
* my loving Heavenly Father

I hope that in being more conscious of my daily blessings, I will learn to appreciate them more so that tomorrow I won't have any regrets about today.

Happy Father's Day Honey!

I have the best husband! He works so hard for our family - sacrificing his time to do things he has to do for us instead of taking time to do the things he wants to do. He is so supportive of everything each of us does - we all know that we are his priority. And we all so appreciate him! This year we will have been married for 25 years and I can't imagine my life without him. I have been in love with him for almost 30 years and they have been the happiest 30 years of my life. We have been blessed with 4 wonderful children and are having a great time together! He is a man of honor, integrity, humility, caring and he honors his priesthood, which has been a tremendous blessing in our life. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of marrying the man of my dreams and living happily ever after. Now I feel so blessed when I realize that that dream is coming true. He is still my knight in shining armor and I just want to let him know that I love him and can't wait for the next 25 years! Thanks, honey, for being such a great father and husband! We all love you!

Here we are!

Well, it's finally happened - I have caved in and decided to try the blogging world! It will certainly be interesting to see if I ever have anything of interest to post!! If any of you have pointers, I'll be very interested in hearing them!! Let the adventure begin........